Falling Apart
by GrissomzGal
Summary: Sequel to 'Is that a lovebite' Much angstier than the first fic. Recommended you read the earlier mentioned story first to get a better understanding, but it's not necessary.
1. Chapter 1

This is the sequel to my other story 'Is that a lovebite'. It's recommended that you read that one first so you can get a better understanding of this one, but it's not necessary. This one's got a lot, lot more angst and very little humour - I just had to destroy the happiness. As some of you may know, I'm not a naturally angsty writer, so this may not be as good as previous fics I have written. We'll just have to wait and see. Obviously I don't live anywhere near New York, or even the USA, so you'll have to excuse me for my lack of knowledge of the New York area and the made-up addresses. Enjoy!!

* * *

Elliot was on his way home from a good day at work. The sun was shining, the roads were clear and his day had been very fruitful. He'd helped lock up two guys for breaking into an elderly man's home and assaulting him before leaving with his cash. The jury had convicted them both, and they'd not be seeing the streets of New York for a good while.

He pulled into the driveway of his new home, stepped out of the car and strode up to the front door, turning the handle and shouting, "Liv! Emmy! I'm home!"

There was no reply, so he grinned as he shut the door. They must be out in the garden, he thought.

As he wandered through his home, he couldn't help but feel a sense of pride. The house was modern and classy, but it wasn't just that. He had a beautiful wife, a gorgeous adopted daughter and a baby on the way. At that monent, his life could not have gotten any better.

Suddenly he saw a foot, and he asked with a chuckle, "This is a new game..." but as he rounded the corner, he froze in his tracks. On the tiled floor, surrounded by a pool of blood, lay his wife.

"Shit..." he sprung into action, kneeling down beside her. "Liv, it's Elliot, wake up."

She didn't move, and he was going out of his mind. His heart was racing at twice it's normal speed and his hands were trembling as much as they ever had. "Olivia! Come on! Don't play games with me now!!"

Her eyes flickered open and she asked croakily, "Ell?"

"Liv," he let out a small sigh of relief. She was conscious. That was a good sign. "Liv, what happened?"

"Emmy," she said almost incoherently. "He took her..."

"Who took her?" he asked, panicking even more now. In his shock, he'd not even thought about Emily.

Olivia tried to speak, but no words came out, and Elliot knew that she had to preserve her energy. "It's okay Liv, we'll find her. Just stay with me baby..."

He took out his cell and dialled frantically, "It's Detective Stabler. I need a bus, ASAP, 89 Arlington Drive. I have a pregnant woman in her 30's, just been attacked."

"Ell.." she moaned as he put his cell away. "Emmy!"

"I know, Liv," he nodded. "I'll find her, I'll bring our baby back, don't you worry. Just stay with me.."

Her eye-lids dropped, but he shook his head, very gently slapping her cheek. "No, come on sweetie, you need to keep your eyes open for me. Tell me about what you were doing all day."

When the ambulance arrived, Captain Don Cragen, Fin Tutuol and John Munch arrived with it.

"We heard your address on the radio, what's going on?" Cragen asked gruffly.

"I..." Elliot went to speak but Olivia was lifted up onto a stretcher and taken out, and he couldn't think straight. "I... came home after work, and I found Liv, and she was just lying there, right there... Emmy's missing."

"You think it's the same guy?" Munch asked.

"No, he's in Rikers, there's no way. Not his MO either," Elliot shook his head, running his hands over his face. Everything was falling apart. "We need to find her..."

"You're not doing anything Elliot," Cragen stated. "Go with Fin, give your statement for real. Munch stay here and talk with CSU, don't let anything go. I'll follow the bus..."

He ran out and jumped into his car, and Munch and Fin both looked at Elliot sympathetically.

"I'm gonna go," Munch gestured over to the CSU guys and then disappeared.

"It's gonna be fine, Elliot. Just fine, alright?" Fin laid a hand on Elliot's back as he guided him out to the car, on their way to the station.

Later, Elliot sat in his seat at his desk in the station, staring at what used to be Olivia's desk. It now belonged to his new partner, Frank Moss. It'd taken a while to get used to the new guy, but now everything was good. Lately he'd been managing to keep his job and his home-life separate, although Olivia knew what keeping things bottled up did to him and his relationships, so every night after Emily had been put to bed, she would sit with him and listen to whatever he had to say. It was great. He was doing better than he had ever done before, and everything had seemed so perfect. Somehow, now he looked back on it, it was all too good to be true.

Suddenly he heard his name being called, over and over again, and it took him a while but he eventually loooked up to be met with the welcome sight of Melinda before him. The coroner had always been a friendly face, and they'd become even closer since she had proved he didn't kill the drug-taking perp who had died in his care.

"How are you holding up?" she asked softly, walking over and laying a hand on his shoulder.

"Is she gonna be okay?" he asked, pausing before adding, "Then I can tell you."

"Why aren't you at the hospital?" Melinda frowned.

"Cragen told me not to. Said I should stay here," he shook his head. "I want to go, but I'm afraid..."

"I know, Elliot. We all are. None of us want to lose Olivia," she nodded. "But you should be there for her. Think how many times she's been there for you when you needed her."

"You're right," he nodded. He was in no mood to argue today. He was just going to do as he was told, so when Melinda tugged at his arm, he got up and followed her out of the station.

At the hospital, he wandered in, feeling like a little lost boy again. He remembered visiting his Grandmother at the hospital when he was a boy. He'd not known what a thing like death could do to a family, what it could do to a person. But he'd learned that day, and with the amount of death and suffering her saw everyday as a given with his job, he had gotten used to it. It didn't get to him so much now. Well... it hadn't until the suffering had gripped hold of his wife, their unborn baby and their adopted daughter who'd already gone through so much.

Outside Olivia's room, he stopped. It was as if there was a brick wall blocking the doorway. He tried to go in, but there was just something stopping him. He was afraid, that was for certain. He was afraid about what he was going to witness, about what the doctor in there was going to tell him. He just wanted to curl up in a little ball and pray that it had all been a dream.

Eventually he managed to make himself shuffle inside, and the doctor turned to see him. "Are you Mrs Stabler's husband?"

"Yeah," he nodded, finding his hand being shaking rather exuberantly considering the situation they were in.

"Hello. I'm Doctor Sanders. Your wife is in a stable condition, Mr Stabler," the doctor began.

"Detective..." somehow it didn't seem fitting for the occasion, it just didn't matter, but Elliot still found himself correcting the doctor.

"I'm sorry?" Dr Sanders frowned.

"It's Detective Stabler," Elliot stated, and the doctor nodded slowly, not quite understanding why it mattered.

"My apologies. As I was saying, your wife is stable, although it will be a critical next few hours, and indeed a critical day," he stated. "There is one thing. Your child is doing okay, but we think that there would be more of a chance of both surviving if we performed surgery to remove the baby from the womb and into an incubator."

Elliot's heart jumped into his mouth. Remove the child? But what if Olivia survived and the baby didn't? What would happen then? He'd have to live with the regret for the rest of his life, and he just knew that Olivia would hold him responsible for it. But then, what if the doctor was right? What if taking the baby away did increase the chances of the two surviving.

"Can I have a moment with my wife, please Doctor?" Elliot asked, just standing there staring at his Olivia, hooked up to lots of machines, with so many wires coming and going from her body he didn't know which was which.

Before he realised the movement, Dr Sanders had left with a promise to return in half an hour to collect Elliot's decision. He moved the Olivia's bedside, kneeling down on the floor. There was only one thing he could do in a situation like this. He closed his eyes, clasping his hands together. His voice was soft and steady.

"O Lord, holy Father, creator of the universe, author of its laws, you can bring the dead back to life, and heal those who are sick. We pray for our sick brother that he may feel your hand upon him, renewing his body and refreshing his soul. Show to him the affection in which you hold all your creatures."

He opened his eyes and looked up at his wife, lying there, completely out of it with all the drugs they had put her on.

"I'm going to make this right, Liv," he murmured. "As soon as you're better, I swear that I'll make this up to you. I'me never going to let you get hurt again. Emmy's coming home soon, too. Cragen and the guys are going to find whoever did this to you, and they're going to bring Emily home to us, and they're going to put the guy in bars. It's going to be okay."

He pulled a chair over, leaning his head down, sitting in silence. He didn't know what he should do. He just wanted everything to sort itself out, but he knew that this was one of life's conundrums. He really did believe that these things were sent to him to make him stronger, but every now and again he wished there was an easy way out, a button to press to give in, to have it solved for you. He wanted both of them to survive, his wife and his unborn child, but he didn't know how he was going to manage that. She was only 6 months gone. If the baby was removed from the womb, he or she would be 3 months premature. He needed something to show him what to do, a sign. Again, there was only one thing to do, and he fell back on what he knew best. Prayer.

"Steer the ship of my life, good Lord, to your quiet harbour, where I can be safe from the storms of sin and conflict. Show me the course I should take. Renew in me the gift of discernment, so that I can always see the right direction in which I should go. And give me the strength and the courage to choose the right course, even when the sea is rough and the waves are high, knowing that through enduring hardship and danger in your name we shall find comfort and peace."

He wiped his eyes, looking at Olivia's face. "You're so beautiful, Liv. What do I do? Do I save you and the baby, and risk losing the baby, or do I risk losing you both?"

Suddenly it became clear, through his own words. He knew what he should do, and he just hoped that his decision would end up being the right one.

* * *

As I said, this is a lot of angst, so in the next chapter there will be a small let-up for a moment or two! (But not much, mind... I did say I felt the need to destroy the happiness with this one...hee hee hee... I'm so evil..)

Despite the amount of angst here, I hope you enjoyed this one and even if you didn't, review to tell me what you thought of it and how I'm doing!! Thanking you!!


	2. Chapter 2

I hope the last chapter wasn't too angsty for you - and I just generally hope you enjoyed it. I don't know much about premature babies and stuff, so I will try my best but we'll just have to see how it pans out. Here's chapter 2!

* * *

"Detective Stabler," a woman's soft, calm voice penetrated Elliot's world as he held Olivia's warm hand to his lips, gazing at her, willing her to be strong, to open her eyes, to tell him everything was going to be okay.

He looked round to see a short chubby woman about ages with him standing in the doorway. She had blonde hair, tied up in a messy bun, and she looked absolutely exhausted, as if she'd had a long night. Despite that, the sight of her seemed welcoming and Elliot suddenly had a feeling that everything was going to be okay.

"We have your baby in the NICU. Would you like to see him?" the nurse asked.

"Him?" Elliot allowed himself a half-smile.

"Yep," the nurse smiled.

"I... uh..." he looked from the nurse to Olivia, and then back. "I don't want to leave her on her own."

"Don't worry about it Elliot," Don Cragen's gruff but reassuring voice came into the room, followed by the man himself. "Go and see your son. I'll stay with Olivia."

Elliot got up, not quite knowing what to say. He looked down at Olivia, and then up at his Captain, who just nodded. He understood completely. He knew that Elliot couldn't keep up with everything going on around him, and he didn't have the heart to explain to the man that they'd had no luck in tracing Emily as of yet.

In the NICU, the nurse guided Elliot over to an incubator in the room that had a chart marked with the words 'Baby Stabler'. Elliot froze as he stood next to his son. He was so tiny, he couldn't have been more than maybe 11 inches, and he was willing to bet that the unbelievably small baby would have almost fitted in the palm of his hand.

"My god," he shook his head, staring at the being that he could hardly believe could even survive outside of the womb. He was amazed how advanced the technology in the hospital must have been to keep this size of baby alive. "He's so small..."

The nurse smiled slightly, bringing a chair over for Elliot, who sat down in it, gazing in at his son.

"How is he?" Elliot asked worriedly.

"He's a fighter. He's doing remarkably well for his size," the nurse nodded, smiling.

"Do you... do you think he's going to be okay?" he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"I shouldn't say," the nurse paused. "But I have a feeling he is. I'm not promising anything, but I just have a feeling. After all, he is the son of two detectives."

Elliot smiled at the nurse's optimism. It was the first time he had felt hopeful in these two gruelling, draining days. He thought that it was time to speak to the heavenly father again, so he bowed his head and murmured his prayer. "Our Father, forgive all our misdeeds and wipe away our sin, for you are great and compassionate; your mercy knows no bounds.My heart lies before you, O my God.Look deep within it. See these memories of mine, for you are my hope."

The nurse smiled, asking quietly, "You're a man of faith?"

Elliot nodded, letting out a soft sigh as the nurse laid a hand on his shoulder. "I believe too. I pray every night for every child I see here. If we're lucky God will listen and help us out here."

"Thanks," he nodded, still gazing in at the tiny little baby being kept going by the various machines. The scene reminded him of Olivia's room. So many wires connecting the tiny body up to this machine and that machine that he didn't know which one was which. "How many babies do you see here a year?"

"Hundreds," she replied. "The survival rate is reasonable high."

"Okay," he nodded. "When will I be able to touch him?"

"When he's a little big bigger," the nurse nodded. "It shouldn't be too long, Detective."

"Elliot, please," he nodded.

"Diane," the nurse smiled, moving her hand from his shoulder and went off to attend to another baby, leaving the physically and emotionally exhausted man to spend some time with his son.

"I'm sorry buddy," Elliot whispered in the direction of his son. "I should never have let this happen, but when you're better I'll make it up to you. You might be tiny, but you're perfect. Mommy and I never really decided on a name, so when she wakes up I'll make sure that we think of one that's just right for you, okay? Everything's going to be alright. We're going to have your sister home soon, and Mommy's going to be okay, and you and I buddy, we're gonna be alright too. We'l get through this, won't we?"

That night, Elliot had been prised away from his son, and he was sitting by Olivia's bedside, the television in her room on but not being regarded. Elliot was sitting in the chair, arms folded across his chest, gazing at Olivia, his mind elsewhere. Although he was still terrified of losing Olivia, he knew somehow that she'd be okay. He knew that she wouldn't give up easily. He was just thinking of his kids. All of them, not just Emily and his new baby son. He was thinking about the ones who had been taken by their Mum to live in Australia. He wondered how they were doing. He hoped they were okay.

Suddenly Olivia moved a little. Not a lot, she just clenched and unclenched her fist, but it sent Elliot's heart racing again. He grabbed the hand that had moved, and asked tentatively, "Olivia? Liv, it's me, it's Elliot. If you hear me, squeeze my hand..."

Nothing.

Elliot clenched his jaw, shaking his head. Surely he hadn't simply imagined it? "Come on Liv. I know you're there. Squeeze my hand."

It was the slightest pressure, but she did put some on his hand. He grinned - things were getting better. "There we go. It's okay darling, I'm right here. You think about opening those beautiful eyes and I'll wait right here for you.."

Things were looking up for him. His son was hopefully going to be okay, and his wife was getting better. Gradually, yes, but she was. Things were going to be alright. Soon he'd have his family back round him. They'd not be able to take their son home with them in the near future, but he'd have Olivia home and Emily to, and he'd be able to fall asleep in his own bed, and things would get back to normal, and then when their son was home, everything would like it should have been in the first place, as if nothing had ever happened.

There was a knock at the door, and Elliot looked round to see Fin standing in the doorway. He grinned and said, "Olivia just squeezed my hand. She's gonna be alright, Fin."

"That's good," Fin nodded, looking away uneasily

"What?" Elliot asked coarsely. He hated that look. It could only mean bad things had happened.

"Listen, we uh..." Fin took a deep breath before carrying on. "We got the guy that attacked Olivia, but we haven't got Emily. We did find a small pool of her blood in the back seat of his car, though."

Elliot just stared blankly at his colleague for a moment before shaking his head, standing up. "No, that doesn't mean anything. She gets nose bleeds. It could be a nose bleed..."

"No, Elliot," Fin shook his head. "It doesn't look good."

"Shut up!" Elliot shoved him.

"Hey, come on Elliot," Fin warned.

"No, you come on Fin!" Elliot shoved him again. "You come in here, and you tell me you found my daughter's blood in the back seat of a car, and then you tell me that it's impossible that she just had a nose bleed?! You're not supposed to cut out all the hope I have. It's just not right Fin!"

"I know, it's not," Fin nodded. He was just trying to get Elliot to calm down. He knew that the hot-head didn't really mean this. He was just so distraught that he needed an outlet. "I'm sorry man. I just don't want to sugar-coat it. You know what it's like."

"I..." Elliot tried to speak but his voice cracked. He wasn't good in these situations, when he got emotional in-front of people. It made him uncomfortable. "You gotta find her."

"We're still trying, Ell. We're working round the clock, and we're not gonna stop until we've got her safely back to you," Fin stated, looking right into Elliot's eyes.

He just stood there, feeling exposed and out of place. He shouldn't be the one in here. Olivia shouldn't be lying there in the bed, Emily shouldn't be missing and his son shouldn't be down in the NICU. It wasn't supposed to happen to him. He was the one who was supposed to be telling families that it didn't look good, he wasn't supposed to be told that.

What made it worse was that everyone he had was in trouble or hurt. Olivia, Emily and his little boy. He had nobody at home to give him hope, he had no-one to make him get a grip just for their sakes. He didn't know what to. He was as lost as he had ever been and it was killing him, having nobody to talk to, and he just needed someone. Anyone.

Even later that night, he'd switched the television and the lights off, and he was sitting in the dark, tears rolling down his cheeks. Night was the only chance he got to let his emotions out. He was used to Olivia being there for him when he needed to vent, and that was great, but now he was trying to be strong for everybody and he had nothing left for himself.

Suddenly the door flew open and another nurse, this one he knew as Catherine, exclaimed, "Detective, you have to come now. It's your son."

He shot up, drying his eyes, and he ran after Catherine, all the way down to the NICU to find the machines surrounding his little boy flashing and beeping shrilly.

"We need your permission to help him," she said.

Elliot just stood there, staring in. He was frozen to the spot, and his mind wasn't going. He was only a shell at that moment, but suddenly he realised what he was being asked to consent to, and he nodded. The nurse told the doctors and other nurses inside that he had consented, and they rushed to try and get the equipment set up. "Hurry up..." he muttered, but it wasn't working. They were fiddling and tripping over each other, and he couldn't stand it. "HURRY UP!"

* * *

So there went chapter 2. I hope it was good - I thought it was decent. Please review to tell me what you think! : )


	3. Chapter 3

This fic seems to be going doing well, so I think I'm going to carry on the way I've been going and hopefully things will turn out well and everyone will enjoy it.

* * *

The doctors and nurses all scurried about even faster at Elliot's shouted words, and they started resuscitating the little baby that was no bigger than the palm of his Daddy's hand. After 5 minutes of trying, they finally evened out the beeping and the flashing, and Elliot let out a long sigh of relief, resting his forehead against the cool glass of the NICU's wall.

Nurse Catherine came out and said softly, "He's stable again, for the moment. Do you want to stay with him?"

"I..." that was the one question Elliot had been dreading. Did he want to stay with his son or go to his wife's side. What was he supposed to do? If he didn't stay he'd be leaving his son alone, but if he stayed he'd be'd be leaving his wife alone. He just didn't know what to do. "I'll... go check on Liv first, and then I'll come back.."

"Sure," Catherine nodded, patting his arm and walking back inside.

Elliot sighed, shaking his head. This was hellish. He had no idea what he was supposed to on his own. He couldn't help find his daughter, he couldn't help his son get better and he couldn't heal his wife. He felt completely useless, and that was a feeling that he completely hated to have, because it was something that his Dad had always made him feel and that he'd promised himself that he wouldn't ever let himself feel that way ever again.

Back up in Olivia's room, Elliot wandered in feeling even worse than he had been. His boy had had a set-back and now he wasn't so sure that the tiny little baby boy was going to be okay. As he walked in, he saw that somebody was standing at Olivia's bedside, gazing down at her.

"Hey," he said snappily as he didn't recognise the person. The man turned round, and Elliot froze as he saw Olivia's half-brother, Simon Marsden, was stood in-front of him. "What the hell are you here for?"

"I came to see my sister. Why are you here?" Simon sneered.

Elliot was a little taken aback. He assumed that Olivia would have taken the time out to inform her half-brother that she had gotten married, especially to her partner.

"Simon, I...uh..." he cleared his throat, wondering how he could tell this guy that he had married her half-sister. "Listen, Simon. A year and a half ago Olivia and I got married..."

"Don't be stupid," Simon shook his head. "Why would you marry my sister?"

"Because I love her, Simon," Elliot stated confidently.

"So why is she lying in this bed? If you loved her why would you let her get into this mess?" he snapped.

"Simon, please just don't..." Elliot swallowed hard. "I already feel guilty enough without you telling me I should have done something. I came home from work and Olivia was lying there. He'd already been and gone."

"Why weren't you here looking after her?" Simon advanced towards Elliot.

Elliot didn't feel in the slightest bit threatened. He knew that Simon would more than likely not go for him, but even if he did, Elliot would have no trouble brushing him off. He didn't want to fight with his wife's half-brother, especially not at her bedside, but if Simon was going to start something with him, he certainly wouldn't run away crying.

"I was in the NICU. Our son almost died," Elliot replied.

"Your son?" Simon laughed.

"Yes," Elliot nodded. "He was born today. The doctor's removed him from the womb today so that they both had a better chance of survival. I had to make the decision so there was more chance of Olivia and our son living. The guy that attacked Olivia also kidnapped our adopted daughter Emily and the detectives of SVU and missing person's are both trying to locate her."

Simon was shocked into silence. He hadn't realised that he had missed so many important things in his sister's life and he didn't know how that had happened. He had always thought that Olivia would contact him if something happened in her life, simple because he was her brother and that was what he thought brothers and sisters did. He had never thought that because of his actions and taking that woman as hostage would mean that their relationship would begin falling apart.

"Why didn't she tell me?" Simon looked over his shoulder at his sleeping sister.

"I don't know, Simon," Elliot shook his head. "I don't know why she wouldn't tell you, but if she didn't tell you I'm sure she wouldn't be best pleased to see that you're here at her bedside."

"I'm here because I love her and I want to help her get better," he replied scathingly.

"By standing staring at her?" Elliot was getting really annoyed now. He avoided Olivia for so long and then when she was ill he turned up to try and help her get better? No, that was not settling in Elliot's mind. "Enough of the shit Simon. Just get out of my sight before I do something that I really regret."

"No, my sister needs me," Simon shook his head.

"Your _**half**_-sister," Elliot put emphasis on the half. "Does not need you. She has me, so just do what's best for everyone and get out of here."

"You have no right to tell me to leave!" he exclaimed.

"You were once under suspicion for rape. You held a woman hostage. You're a loose cannon, Simon, and if you want me to I can call some of my friends to remove you from the room," Elliot said quietly.

"Is that a threat?" Simon pointed his finger at him.

"It depends," Elliot shrugged, clenching his fists. He didn't intend to use them, but it was a warning signal, and it seemed to work, because Simon finally backed down and sidled out of the room.

Elliot shrugged. That was the last thing he needed. Simon Marsden claiming that he actually had any right to be in that room with Olivia. Even claiming he had more right to be in that room than Olivia's next of kin, her husband. That just made him mad. But then it didn't matter if he was mad or not. All that mattered right now was getting his family back together.

Later on during the night, Elliot was just nodding off to sleep when he heard a groan and he jerked awake, almost knocking his seat backwards in his hurry to get to Olivia. "Liv?"

"Ell..." she held her hand up to touch him, but he was too far away and her hand came down on the cool white bed sheet, making her panic. "Elliot?!"

"I'm here Liv, it's alright," he took her hand in both of his, kissing her knuckles. "How do you feel?"

"Like I've been beaten up," she said with a feeble smile, and he let out a soft chuckle. "How are you?"

"I'm good," he nodded, but then he saw the look she was giving him, and he smiled. "Hellish."

"Oh god... Emmy?" she asked worriedly.

"I... no," he just shook his head. He didn't want to tell her about the blood in the back seat of the perp's car. Not yet, not when she had only just woken up. He would to tell her, or even better, he would for Cragen, Munch or Fin to tell her.

She placed her hand on her stomach and felt that it was no longer rounded, and she immediately broke down. "Where's my baby Ell?"

"Liv, sshh," Elliot whispered. "He's okay, don't worry."

"He?" Olivia asked softly, making herself calm down.

"Yeah," Elliot smiled. "They asked me what I wanted. The options were let the pregnancy go on and risk the lives of both of you, of take him out of there and make the chances for you both better."

"But Elliot!! He's only 6 months developed!! 24 weeks!! That's only just over half way! How can he possible survive?!" Olivia's cheeks began to get damp, but Elliot dried her tears away with his thumb.

"I've seen him, Liv. He's perfect. He's tiny, yeah, but he's a perfect little guy," Elliot said. "We need to come up with him. Right now everyone's calling him Baby Stabler. I reckon he deserves a name, don't you?"

"I want to call him Shane," Olivia stated simply.

"Shane? Why Shane?" he asked, confused. She'd been so indecisive before when they had been talking about names, and now she knew for certain which name she wanted for their baby.

"Shane Curtis," she stated. "I like it. Will it suit him?"

"I reckon so," he smiled. "Do you want me to call someone so we can get him baptised?"

So the next day, Elliot's priest, Father Michael, had agreed to come into the hospital to baptise little Shane Curtis Stabler. Elliot hadn't wanted to tell Olivia why he thought they should do it now, because she had been all set for getting him baptised later on when he was out of hospital. Elliot just wasn't sure that his son would survive long enough to have him baptised once he was allowed home. He had just wanted to make sure that his baby was baptised.

Elliot stood behind Olivia as Cragen and Melinda - Shane's god mother and father were saying their pieces.

Then came the most important bit. Father Michael spoke softly but with the kind of confidence that only came with doing something over and over again. "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, I baptise you Shane Curtis Stabler..."

Elliot gently squeezed Olivia's shoulder, kissing the top of her head, and she held onto his hand tightly. Yes, her baby boy was lying in an incubator. Yes, his chances were slim and yes, her daughter was still missing, but something just felt right about this. There was an atmosphere of hope and of good things to come hanging in the air, and that very fact made her a little happier.

As Father Michael was leaving, Fin ran in and said loudly to be heard above the buzz of the NICU, "We have Emily!"

Everybody looked round, and Olivia looked up at Elliot. "Go get our baby Ell..."

He nodded and chased after Fin who had already took off through the hospital to where Emily was being checked over. As Elliot ran in, all he saw was blood. All over Emily, all over the doctor, all over the place, and she was crying. It was sight that didn't go down well with him at all. He didn't associate blood with good things.

Elliot went straight over to her, but the nurse held her arm up. "No, sir. I'm sorry, but you can't come near her. Not right now."

"She's my daughter!" Elliot protested frantically. There was nothing worse than when your child was crying, and you could hear the pain and the anguish, but you either couldn't or weren't allowed to do anything to help.

"No! I told you sir! You have to allow me to do my job!!" the nurse pushed him away.

* * *

Chapter 3 over and done with. I hope this was okay, I got a bit stuck and didn't quite know what to do. BUT I hope that everyone thinks the name for Elliot and Olivia's son is alright too. I thought it had quite a ring to it.

Reviews if you wouldn't mind awfully!!


	4. Chapter 4

Don't worry, don't worry. I'm not as evil as some people, I don't enjoy making my characters unhappy, so nobody has to fret! It'll be alright!! Anyway, good reviews again for chapter 3 so this seems to be going down well. Very very glad about that. Anyway, you don't click on that link in your e-mails to read my babble, so let's get down to business.

* * *

"Please,you don't understand, I need to..." he gave up trying. He just stood there staring at all he could see of his little girl - her blood stained hair. This was hell. When Fin had told them they'd found Emily, he'd got such a shock, but a good shock. He'd thought things really were turning round, but then this. Blood everywhere. Emily screaming. The nurse not allowing him to touch his daughter. What was going on?

The nurse carried on working away busily. He desperately needed to know what was wrong with his little girl. He hated standing there doing nothing. Suddenly the nurse moved to get something, and Elliot saw it. A gash on the side of Emily's neck. It was quite deep, and about 4 inches in length.

"Oh my god," Elliot muttered under his breath, again trying to get to his daughter, but the nurse jumped in-front of him. "Please!! She needs me! I can't just stand here while she's crying!!"

"Sir, you have to stand back and let me do my job," the nurse, a short but very strong, black lady, stared back up at him, and he knew that he wasn't going to win.

He nodded, stepping back as Fin shepherded him away.

"What did he do to her?" Elliot asked, eyes full, looking down at his friend and colleague.

"We don't know, Ell. All we know is that an elderly woman dropped her off at the hospital, and she had a sticking plaster covering the wound," Fin replied.

"What's her name?" Elliot asked. It didn't mean all that much, but he still wanted to know. It was that detective's instinct that he had always possessed.

"Joanna Rodriguez," Fin replied. "Mother of John Rodriguez."

"John Rodriguez? I know that name," Elliot closed his eyes, running his hands over his face as he tried to think where he had heard the name before, but it just wasn't working. He was too wound up and far too worried about his daughter to be able to think straight.

"Elliot," Fin paused before deciding to tell the man. "You and Olivia put him away for the rape and murder of a 15 year old girl 3 years ago."

"How the hell did he get out so fast?!" Elliot exclaimed.

"That's what we're trying to find out," Fin nodded. "He's not said a word to us yet. His damn lawyer keeps interfering in our affairs."

"You need to get him back in Rikers," Elliot pointed at Fin. "He's dangerous, he showed that when he killed that girl, and he's shown it again with all this. You need to do that for me."

"We're trying our best, Elliot," Fin nodded. "The evidence is strong, but we're just trying to get some information from him to make the case bullet-proof. The mother might be able to help us fill in some of the blanks too."

"Hopefully," Elliot nodded, sighing as Fin patted his arm and strode out, ready to continue on his mission, fired up by Elliot's pleas.

Eventually, after around 10 minutes, the stubborn nurse moved out of the way and said in a soft voice which astonished Elliot, "You can hold your daughter now."

He looked at her in surprise, and she nodded. He thanked her whole-heartedly and then went straight to Emily, who was still sobbing. She hadn't even realised that Elliot was there in her panic and her pain.

"Emmy," he said softly, and she looked round at him, taking a moment or two to register who he was.

"ELL!" she bawled at the top of her voice, falling into him, and he wrapped his arms round her tightly, burying his face into his hair, trying his best not to cry but not really managing as hot, wet tears cascaded down his face, falling into his little girl's hair.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice shaking and cracking. "I'm so so sorry. Oh god, I'm sorry."

Emily sat back and looked him in the eyes, smiling a little. "S'okay Ell."

He stared right back into her eyes, still unable to control the stream of water coming from his eyes. Emily reached out a little, blood-soaked hand and dried away his tears. Elliot was amazed at how strong the little girl was being. This was already the third tragedy in her short life, yet she wasn't hiding from it. That was the thing that had always amazed him about little kids. They almost always bounced back and recovered, whereas adults dwelled on the past and dreaded the future.

"I love you, Emmy," he said as he gazed right into her sparkly blue eyes.

"Love you too, Ell," she beamed, and he couldn't help but smile. He had his girl back, and she was okay. Yeah, sure she had a gash on her neck, but she was okay. He had her in his arms and he wasn't going to let anything else happen to her. "Don't cry..." She shook her head, and he let out a chuckle.

"I'm just so happy to have you back, sweetie," he kissed her forehead, and she beamed at him.

That night, Elliot had begged and pleaded with the doctors and nurses at the hospital to let him take his daughter home. The place had been cleaned up after all the commotion, and everything had been sorted out. Elliot guessed that was the work of Captain Cragen. He had never really considered him a friend as such, but just lately he had been realising that he had more friends than he thought he did.

He had been told how to wash Emily without getting the wound wet, and the hospital had given a special covering for the dressing to keep it dry. They were upstairs in the bathroom, Elliot working on getting all the blood away from his little girl before taking her up to see Olivia in the morning.

"I missed you Emmy," he said quietly.

"I missed you too," Emily beamed back at him. Yes she was ony 6 but she was a very mature six year old. Whether that was just the way she was or it was because of everything she'd been through Elliot didn't know, but then he didn't care anymore. He didn't care why she was as she was, he just cared that she was home, with him.

Suddenly there was a BANG at the front door, and Elliot froze. Emily continued splashing, but he grabbed her hands, shaking his head as he whispered, "Ssshhh.."

As there was another BANG, he shot up and looked at Emily, saying sternly, "When I leave, lock the door and don't open it until I come back up."

"Why?" she frowned.

"Just do it," he lifted her out of the bath and crept out of the room, grabbing his gun from the locked drawer in the bedroom before heading downstairs slowly and quietly, avoiding the creaky step, 6th from the bottom.

As he got downstairs, his heart was pounding against his rib-cage as if it wanted to jump right out of there. He'd never been spooked in his own home before, and he swore he was gonna kill the guy who was trying to harm his baby girl again.

He got to the front door without spotting anybody or anything ominous, but as he was reaching out to the handle, there was another bang, and he jumped back. It wasn't a good situation, but he couldn't deny that the adrenalin rushing through his system was a natural high. He loved these kind of dangerous situations. That was part of the reason he had become a cop.

He got his nerve back and unlocked the door, throwing it open to find two cats, a huge black one and a smaller tabby one, fighting on the doorstep. He looked around him, letting out a sigh of relief, then allowed himself a laugh. He really had to calm down. Sure his family had been hurt a lot, but the guys who had done that weren't gonna get them now. They were under control, and he knew that it was going to be okay...

CRASH!! He jumped round and pointed his gun toward the kitchen area, but he laughed again as he saw that all that had happened was that a pot had fallen from its hook into the sink.

"Shit," he shook his head, grinning as he hung the pot back up. "Dumb asshole."

Back upstairs, he knocked on the door, and said, "Emmy, open the door sweeheart."

She undid the lock of the door, and then grabbed the handle, letting the door swing open. She looked terrified, and he grinned and picked her up, cuddling her. "You know what? I'm an idiot."

"Why?" she frowned.

"It was cats..." he laughed. "Cats!!"

"Cats?" she giggled.

"Yeah," he grinned, putting her back in the bath. "Right, beautiful. Let's get finished here so we can go watch a movie and eat some popcorn, huh?"

"YAY!" she shouted, and he laughed, kissing her lovingly as he picked the shampoo bottle up off the edge of the bath.

* * *

So there was chapter 4. A little shorter and not so full of action, but mostly it was just a linking chapter to get me from 3 to 5. So tell me what you thought anyways and I'll get on with number 5...


	5. Chapter 5

Here's chapter 5 for you all!

* * *

Elliot and Emily arrived at Olivia's room at about 10 in the morning. Elliot had just left Emily to sleep, because he knew that she would need it after her most recent ordeal. Olivia was doing a cross-word in the newspaper, and as they wandered in, she beamed, "Hey guys!"

"Liv!" Emily giggled and jumped on the bed beside Olivia.

"Oh, hey, Emmy, be careful," Elliot said with a frown, and Emily looked at him and nodded, hudding Olivia but as she was told,being careful.

"How are you sweetie?" Olivia asked, unable to stop herself smiling widely as she cuddled her little girl.

"Kay," Emily nodded, gasping as she looked at Olivia's belly. "Where's the baby?"

Elliot and Olivia shared a glance, and in that look, Elliot was decided to be the best one to tell her about what had happened to her little brother.

"Honey, the baby's not very well," Elliot said. "He will be, eventually, but right now he's downstairs in a special bed called an incubator. It's helping him grow and get better so that he can come home sometime."

"Can I see him?" Emily asked excitedly.

"Not right now sweetie," Olivia ran her hand up and down Emily's arm. "Maybe soon though."

"Kay," Emily nodded. "Do I have a brother?"

"Yeah, you do," Elliot grinned. "He's called Shane."

"Shane," Emily thought about it. "I like it."

"Good," Olivia laughed, and Elliot just shook his head, walking over to take a seat at Olivia's bedside.

Olivia wasn't at all fazed by the gash. Munch had come up and told her all about it, and she had first hand experience with gashes on the neck, so she was okay with it, even though it was her little girl. She was just focused on getting better so that she could go home with her husband and their daughter, and so that they could spend more time with Shane and hope that it meant he would get better quicker.

Later that day, Elliot left Emily with Olivia at the hospital, and he went to the station. John Rodriguez had finally agreed that he would talk, but only as long as Elliot was there to hear what he had to say. Elliot wanted to kill the guy for what he had done, but he knew that killing him would be allowing him to take the easy way out, so he had promised himself he'd not touch a hair on the guy's head.

He stormed into the interrogation room, where he felt very at hom. God knew how many times he had been in there, and he was good at what he did. Yeah, sure some confessions had been thrown out of the window for the way he conducted the interrogations, but with a 97 case closure rate, there had been many more successful times.

On the far side of the table sat John Rodriguez. He didn't seem the type to commit crimes such as the ones he had, but then that was all part of his efficiency. He was a tall, slender man, but he was by no means skinny. He was toned, and had perfectly combed back, black hair. His eyes were a deep brown colour, and he had the easy, infectious kind of smile that so many of New York's finest criminals possessed. He had an air of grace about him, the way he walked in a loping, languid stroll, the way he spoke, clearly pronouncing every single syllable with the slightest wheeze. He dressed in expensive, fitted, black suits and the finest quality shirts and ties, and he lived in a grand house in the suburbs. The only thing that was abnormal was that the 37 year old lived alone and had no children, which you would have expected of him.

"Detective Stabler," he smiled at the brooding, intense man standing in the corner of the room.

"Shut up with the formalities and let's get down to business, Rodriguez," Fin snapped.

"Oh, that's how we're playing it now is it Detective Tutuola?" he smiled. "Okay. Let's start at the very beginning. Detective Stabler, here, and his now wife Detective Benson..." He raised his fingers and bent them in an inverted comma sign. "'Collected' the evidence against me from my home. They rampaged through my beautiful house and destroyed many of my finest objects. Then they say that they have found some very incriminating evidence - a girl's sweater with my blood on it - and they have a look at my forearm. Yes, I do indeed have scratches there, but I have a very unruly dog at that time. I am convicted of raping and killing the child, which I still swear that I did not do."

"We know all of this, Rodriguez. Just hurry up with the juicy part, huh?" Fin sighed.

Elliot was refusing to say anything. He just wanted to hear what the guy had to say and leave to go back up to his wife and his children. He had gotten to the stage where he just couldn't be bothered with it anymore. He was going to take some time off after this whole thing was over. He knew that Cragen would allow him as long as he needed to take care of Shane, and he might just ask Cragen to put him on paid leave for a while so he could spend some time with his family.

"Alright," Rodriguez nodded. "I watched the Stabler household for one week. I got the times that Elliot here went and came home, and when I thought I knew enough, I went in. I knocked on the door, and Olivia answered. She didn't seem to recognise me, but I still wasn't managing to persuade her to let me inside. I was posing as a salesman. I punched her in the face, and when she was down I closed the door and dragged her inside. She got up and hit me, and I just completely lost it. I hadn't meant to beat her as much as I did, it just happened. I was running high on the adrenalin. She fell unconscious, and then that was when that little brat appeared. She had a nose bleed, and then she started screaming at me. No, get out, get out. Leave us alone... She's definitely your spawn, Detective Stabler. Brave, yeah, she just doesn't know when to shut up..."

Elliot clenched his jaw tightly. This was really getting to him now. He didn't care if the guy mocked him, or even Olivia, but getting onto his little girl was taking it too far. This time, though, unlike many other times, he could see right through this one, could see that he was only saying these things to provoke Elliot. Well it wasn't going to work.

"The girl wouldn't shut up, so I took her to my car. Her nose was still pouring of blood, and then I just thought, right, okay. What can I do to her? So I took my penknife, and I drew it across her neck. Not too deep, mind, I didn't want to kill her," he said, an evil simper over-taking his face. "I kept her in my car for a while, but then it got boring, so I took her to my Mother's house. I told my Mother that she was my child, who I had just recently found out I had, and she took her in. The poor old dear always wanted grand-children. Then, well.. then I ended up here."

Elliot shook his head and stormed out, slamming the door behind him. How anybody could ever do that to a pregnant woman and a six year old was beyond him. All for revenge. He didn't see the point in it either, because John Rodriguez was going straight back to jail for what he had done, and he wouldn't be seeing the streets of New York for a good while. Or so Elliot hoped, anyways.

Back up at the hospital, Elliot, Olivia and Emily were just having a chat when Elliot's cell rang.

"Ell! You shouldn't have that on in here!" Olivia exclaimed.

"Ah," he shrugged, grinning at the look he got from his wife as he answered his phone. "Stabler. Yeah. Okay, great. Thanks. Okay, thanks Munch. Seeya."

Olivia looked up at him curiously, and he smiled and said, "John Rodriguez is due for arraignment first thing tomorrow morning. He's going away, Liv."

* * *

This one was a lot less angsty, and again a lot shorter, and I don't know how I did. I'm sure you'll tell me, won't you? This one should be the last, or second last chapter, so it's coming to an end now!!

I have to remind you - reviews make me happy. Please make me happy :D


	6. Chapter 6

So I think that you enjoyed Chapter 5. I'm thinking this is the last one, but I may be adding more afterwards, I'll see what seems best once I've read some reviews for number 6.

* * *

_2 months later_

Elliot was sitting in the living room at home with a baseball game on. He was still on leave, thanks to Cragen sorting things out with the higher ups. Everybody seemed to understand and nobody seemed to have complained because he was a detective and that sense of brotherhood never really disappeared, even for detectives in other squads.

Emily was in the kitchen making brownies with the little oven that they'd bought her, and he could smell them beginning to burn. He was just waiting for the smoke alarm to go off, and for Emily to come running through to him in a panic because her precious brownies had burnt.

"Emmy! Time to take those brownies out of the oven!" he shouted through, and he heard her yanking open the little pink door and sliding the tray out.

A moment later, she came bolting through and laid the tray of brownies on his lap, but he let out a yelp, jumping up, throwing the little brown squares all over the place. Some landing on the floor, some on the table, some of the couch.

"ELL!" Emily shouted, going to pick them up.

"Woah woah woah woah woah," Elliot grabbed her away from the boiling little cakes, starting to pick them up himself. "They're not so bad for your first try."

"They're all burned!!" she exclaimed.

"I know, but we can sort this," he nodded, carrying the tray through to the kitchen and laying it down on the counter, grabbing a knife and skillfully scraping the burnt bits off. Even though he'd never spent as much time as he would have liked with his girls with Kathy, he knew all there was to know about Easy-Bake Ovens and brownies. God knew he'd done it enough.

He handed one of the scraped brownies to Emily, and she studied it curiously.

"You sorted it!" she exclaimed.

"I did," he grinned, nodding.

"Thank you!" she giggled, hugging his legs and then biting into her brownie.

"Hey, what do you say to boxing some of these up and taking them up to the NICU for Mommy?" Elliot suggested, and Emily nodded enthusiastically, her face already mucky from the chocolate of the brownie. "Alright. Go wash that beautiful face of yours. We can't have you going up with all that chocolate on your face."

At the hospital, Elliot and Emily walked in, and Emily skipped right over to Olivia, clambering into her knee and holding the box up to her face.

"What's this?" she asked with a smile.

"Brownies!!" Emily beamed. "They're yummy!"

"I bet they are. They certainly look yummy," Olivia smiled. "Has Ell had one?"

"No, he said that you should have one first," Emily shook her head, and Olivia looked round to see Elliot grinning at her.

"What?" she asked.

"Oh, nothing," he shrugged, clasping his hands in-front of him as he watched the two most important girls in his life together . "How's my buddy?"

"He's doing good. They proposed this thing, Kangaroo care. It's when there's skin-to-skin contact between the parent and the baby. Do you think that would be good? It's supposed to calm the baby and things..." Olivia announced.

"Yeah, I reckon anything we can do to help him we should," he nodded.

Two days later, and the whole 'kangaroo care' scenario had been set up. It was a process which was thought to help improve the bonding between parent and child, and also to help the baby's health and calm the child down. It involved the baby wearing only a diaper and being secured in a head-up position against the parent's bare chest. The tight bundling was enough for the parent's breathing and chest movement to stimulate the baby's breathing and calm them down.

Olivia didn't feel ready to hold Shane. Yes, she had held his hands, but she was afraid that she was going to hurt him because he was still so tiny and fragile. Therefore Elliot agreed to take on the roll of the other bare chest.

They had been moved into a separate room, and Emily was with the baby sitter. A tall, slender nurse, who was waiting to open the incubator to take Shane out, said softly, with a slight Irish lilt, "Okay, Elliot. If you wouldn't mind slipping that top off for me."

Elliot and Olivia glanced at each other and he grinned a cheeky little grin at her. She only just managed to stifle a giggle as he pulled his top off, and he was perfectly aware of her eyes on him. They'd not had sex since she had fallen pregnant, and she was fairly hot for him. He was okay, he could control his urges, but Olivia wasn't as good as him at it.

He grinned at her, winking, and she let out a sigh, shaking her head. He was looking forward to this more than he could even try to explain. There was nothing like holding your child for the first time, but when you'd had to watch your baby son fighting for his life in an incubator for two months and then got to hold him? It just made it extra special for him.

The nurse carefully gave his son to him, and he sat back on the green leather bed, with the slightly upright back. The nurse showed him how to hold his son, and as he got him comfy, feeling the soft, pink skin against his own more tanned, roughened skin, he was left speechless.

"He's perfect, Liv," Elliot looked up at his wife as the tall nurse strode out of the room to leave the two on their own for the recommended one hour period.

"I know, Ell," she smiled, getting up and perching on the edge of the bed. "He has your eyes, honey."

"Yeah," Elliot chuckled softly. "This feels so good. You need to try it someday."

"I will," she nodded. "What does it feel like? Is he really fragile?"

"No," he shook his head. "Well, yeah, obviously he is, but he just feels like a small baby. A bit like the twins did."

"Does he feel moref fragile though, because he was so premature?" she asked worriedly.

"No, Liv, don't panic," he shook his head. "He's good. He's great, actually... he's perfect darling. Don't you worry about it."

"He really is gorgeous though," she smiled, dying to reach out and touch her son but not wanting to, far too scared that she would hurt her tiny little son.

"He has a gorgeous Mom," Elliot whispered, and Olivia paused, gazing right down into her husband's eyes before leaning down and kissing him lovingly and longingly. "Liv, come on. Calm yourself woman."

"Well, it's not my fault if my husband is sexy, is it?" she smiled, very gently nibbling his bottom lip.

"It's your fault that you're getting turned on," he grinned at her.

"Oh, god, I actually can't look at you!" she covered her eyes, and he let out a hearty laugh, hugging her tightly.

"You're such an idiot, but I love you," he laughed.

She looked down and beamed at him, kissing her man gently. "Oh, god, Ell, look! He's looking at you!!"

Elliot looked down at his little boy and grinned as he saw that the small baby was gazing right up at him, looking really amazed and in awe.

Elliot had a new, stronger sense of hope about the situation. His wife was out of hospital and was feeling perfect, his little girl was safe with them now and his son was being as strong as he always had been and was definitely on the road to recovery. Things were no longer falling apart.

* * *

Took a while to get this chapter over and done with, as I had relatives visiting and such like, but please tell we what you thought about this one, because I'm not sure. I'm sure you will tell me anyhoo! Thanks!!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 6 seemed to go down well, so let's see what you think of this. This will be the last chapter of this particular story, and I might not be adding any more fics for a while because I have some important exams coming up in a couple of weeks. Hopefully I can get them over and done with (successfully) so that I can get back to my fics. Anyhoo. Here's the final chapter - number 7.

Exactly 6 months after Shane Curtis Stabler had been born prematurely, his Mommy and Daddy arrived at the hospital, hopefully for the last time. They were both excited, with big grins on their faces, as today was the day that they were being allowed to take their little boy home.

There were no words to describe what either of the parents felt. They were just so delighted and relieved that this was over - that sitting worrying at their tiny son's bedside wouldn't be going on for any longer. Olivia still hadn't held him, but she had a great hope that with a bit of encouragement, she could make herself hold her son and then she would no longer be afraid.

Elliot had been the more hands on parent. He had been the one taking part in the 'kangaroo care' that they had begun. He had been feeding him the bottled breast-milk that Olivia had produced. He just didn't understand why his wife couldn't hold their son, although he didn't really think it made any difference in the grand scale of things. As long as they bonded at some point, he knew that there shouldn't be any problems with their relationship in the future.

They were both looking forward to getting back to normal family life. All they wanted was for Emily to go back to school and be able to come home to either her Mommy, her Daddy or even, they hoped, sometimes both instead of getting picked up every day by the babysitter. They wanted to sit around the dining table, a complete family, say grace and eat, talking about everybody's days like they used to. They even wanted to get up in the middle of the night to comfort Shane. They just wanted to regain the normality that they had previously had.

On the way home from the hospital, Elliot was driving, and Olivia was getting extremely paranoid. She kept looking behind her to see if the little baby was doing okay, and Elliot was getting frustrated. Yes, Shane had been premature, but now he was as strong as he would have been if he had been born normally and had only been two months old.

"Will you please stop it? He's fine, Liv. He's great," Elliot sighed.

"How can you say that, Elliot? How do you know, huh?" she asked.

"Olivia, listen to me. You haven't held him yet... you're paranoid... if you're gonna be like that until he's older, you're not gonna have a relationship to build upon," he said.

"So you're trying to say I won't have a relationship with my own son?!" she snapped.

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying!" Elliot wasn't afraid to argue with Olivia. Over the many years they had known each other, they'd had many, many rows and that hadn't stopped them getting to the point they were at now, and that very fact made him even more comfortable arguing with her, because it meant that it allowed them both to let out their pent up anger and just general emotion in a way that meant there would be no repercussions from either side.

"Well thanks very much, Elliot!!" she shouted. She was denying the fact that she was afraid, just putting it down to being tired and such like. She didn't know why, because she knew that if she told Elliot anything he would support her through thick and thin and would never abandon her no matter what the circumstances. She was perfectly aware that what Elliot was saying was the truth, she just didn't want to admit it out loud because then maybe it would become common knowledge. She didn't want her fears being known to everyone. She had never been like that, and she never would be.

"Listen, Liv," Elliot sighed, his voice softer now. "I know you're scared of hurting him, I know that. It's okay. You know perfectly well that I'm not going to get on to you about being scared, but I just don't understand why. He's a strong little boy now, you're not gonna hurt him. If you can't hold him now, I don't think you're gonna be able to hold him at all. I'm not saying this just to get you down, I'm trying to helo you out here, and it's all fine and fair enough if you don't wanna listen, but if you can't bond with him right now when he's just little and loves you so much...then down the line both you and him are gonna suffer, and as much as I hate to see you suffer, I could never stand by while my little boy suffers Olivia."

She tried to find the right words, something to bite back at him with, something to rattle him with, but she knew it was no use. He was right, and he was only telling the truth, and there was nothing she could do to block it out. She would eventually have to face her fears and hold her son. She looked in the rear-view mirror and let out a soft sigh. He was a handsome little thing - hell, he was absolutely gorgeous - but there was just something about him that made her afraid to hold him and touch him and give him a cuddle. She just couldn't figure it out, and she really hated herself for being unable to embrace this tiny little life that she had nurtured and helped into life.

When they reached home, they glanced at each other. Elliot wanted Olivia to grab Shane, but she got out quickly and almost ran round to the boot. He sighed, running his hands over his face. This was gonna be a fun few weeks.

Elliot followed Olivia inside, carrying Shane against his chest. He hated the fact that he was having to be tough with Olivia, but he knew deep down in his heart that it was what he had to do - give her a kick up the ass to hopefully get her into shape.

As they wandered into the living room, there was a collective roar of, "WELCOME HOME!!"

Both parents grinned, and suddenly the fact that Olivia was a little scared about the holding Shane thing didn't matter. All that mattered was that Shane was home and that their small group of friends ; Cragen, Melinda, Fin, Munch, Casey Novak and George Huang were here to celebrate that very fact.

The Stabler's had plenty of time to work through their problems, and Olivia had plenty of time to get over her fears about Shane and about hurting him and such. Right now, it was time to celebrate that their son had survived what would probably be the most gruelling 6 months of his life and that he was home now. That was the only thing that was important right then and there.

There were other times to talk about what had fallen apart between them and what was going to need rebuilt.

I know that this one was shorter than usual and wasn't as exciting, but it was basically just to tie everything up and leave everything on a good point. As I said up there, I have exams soon and I'm hoping that I can get them over and done with and hopefully I can get half-decent grades. So I shall more than likely not be posting any new fics for a while, tho I may find the time somewhere or other!!

Leave a review to tell me what you thought of this chapter and the whole story in general, kay? Thanks!!


End file.
